Queens - and not the kind I'd like to hang out with

I teach 15 five year olds. They’re a handful, but their parents are worse.

True and Unbelievable Parent Tribulations For The Week.

1. You DO NOT know what is best for my classroom. When I ask for TWO volunteers, please don’t send me an e-mail saying that WE (the 2 volunteers) decided that you only need ONE volunteer. And when I find a replacement for your irresponsibility because I really need TWO volunteers, don’t ask the replacement and I quote, “What are YOU doing here?

2. When your child is happy in my classroom for the first time in a long time, don’t come into my room and try to take him home while he’s LOUDLY resisting that he wants to stay and all the while ignoring me. Please take your co-dependency elsewhere. Your kid is fine; it’s you that’s not.

3. When you sign up to read a book to the class and on the SAME day you book an afterschool play date - please don’t send in a NOTE saying that now there’s NO NEED to come to school since your child is going home with someone else. (It’s amazing you can sleep at night)

During our special conference about your child’s behavior, please DO NOT cry to me that the tuition at the private school your other children attend is cutting into your shopping allowance and 3 nannies.

Parents ~kids can't survive without them, but I surely can.

Get Smart

Time spent taking care of others instead of yourself and your family will lead you to:

A.) not blog for a long time, B.) put you to sleep at 9:00 and C.) spend an insane amount of $$$ on Starbuck's.


It's hard to believe my kids are into their second 9 weeks of the school year.
This is what I can say about their performance to date....


Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle


Hopefully they'll get thirsty soon.

Bullseye

I walked into a Jimmy John's sandwich shop this weekend and saw my new motto:

Not every day is a great day....sometimes you're the pigeon and sometimes you're the statue~



Our family is currently residing on the pooping side.

How do you feel today?

Pushed To The Limit

To The Person Who Makes The Rules Of Life:

Why Are You Doing This.....I'd Appreciate An Answer To These Questions By Friday At 5:00. Thank You For Attending To These Matters.


1. On Monday, my husband lost his job. His company is relocating the Finance Department to Atlanta, GA. We live in Indiana. He's 50 years old.

2. On Wednesday, our LG 42" PLASMA TV made a great POPPING NOISE and then went black.

3. On Thursday, my KitchenAid dishwasher began making a VERY loud grinding noise.


So, until I hear from you, please refer all matters to SOMEONE ELSE!

Thank you.

Sadness & Hope

Sadness...






Plus Hope...




May Possibly Turn Into This........

Brace Yourself

For about 3 weeks my daughter, Sadie, was complaining about her back hurting. I'm not one to run to the doctor for every ache or pain. I believe Tylenol was produced for a reason, and I use it to cure ALOT. But, she was persistent and looked very uncomfortable.


So we trot off to the Sports Medicine Orthopedic since I was fairly convinced it was related to her soccer season. At this age, the mentality of some players and parents are... "If you can't get the player, get the ball." And, I do remember her being taken out by an aggressive player and landing hard on the ground.


4 x-rays and an MRI later, the results showed that she has a fracture in her spine and will have to be in a custom made back brace for 3 months/23 hours a day.




Eventually, she'll be OK but it is a good reminder that young players are vulnerable to serious injury.

Now, I'm begging anyone of you to trade places with me for those 3 months. (husband, dog and son included at no x-tra charge.)

Hold your breath

Dear 14 year old daughter - I apologize for breathing in your personal space this weekend.



Dear 12 year old son - You're now my favorite.

Love, Me
xoxox