I've been doing alot of really dumb shit lately.....and I can't seem to stop.
I keep forgetting to tape my mouth shut or at the very least let my brain warm up before I act.
Tell me your best "verbal or action vomit" story. I really, really need to hear it.
I'll be waiting.
23 comments:
I've got one for you. I can be pretty catty - not something I'm proud of, just the way it is sometimes. Following is an example of no filter:
My whole family was gathered together watching the video from my brother Jay and his wife Katina's wedding. There had been a girl there that I didn't know who was dressed in tight white pants and a white halter top. At the wedding I had been kind of appalled at her attire. Not just that it was oddly casual, but also that it was white. So we are all sitting there and she goes by on the video and without thinking I say something bitchy like, "Oh yeah, there's that girl. Nice outfit!"
To which my new sister-in-law replies, "That's so-and-so, she's my best friend."
Gulp.
I keep points for myself if I do not open my mouth in a staff meeting. I get to have a star bucks on the way home. I got kinda fat this winter.
THIS just happened on Saturday...
We are at our little river condo in Welaka, Florida for the 4th of July holiday. On Saturday, I met sisters Tracey and Monica at the pool. We got to chatting about something and in my typically inappropriate way, I said that I would "give my left leg" for some decent weather whie we were here. It was at that precise moment I noticed Monica had a prosthetic leg. The right one, but at that point, the damage was done. Holy crap.
A few years back we were having dinner with my sister-in-law and her husband. My SIL was voicing her concern over my niece and her boyfriend getting too serious at a young age. My niece was 16 at the time. SIL told us that niece had asked to go on a camping weekend with her boyfriend. In an effort to bring a little levity and relief into the situation I said to my SIL, "Relax, it's not like she's a VIRGIN or anything."
You could have heard a pin drop....
10 years later and I'm still catching heat about it.
Where to begin? I seriously lack filter.
I can remember all the way back to 1993 when my husband's family was cleaning out his mother's house after her death. Their grandmother was there and heaping abuse on everyone as was her way. I finally had enough and lost it.
I don't remember exactly what I said, but it began with "Listen, old woman..." and it left everyone with their mouths hanging open.
I've got one... one of my worst moments ever. A friend of mine lived next door to this woman who had a little boy and was pregnant with a little girl. I hadn't seen her for quite a while and then, one day, she was out with her little boy, playing on my friend's swingset and I said all excited-like, "Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you! How is the baby? Is she sleeping? When can I see her?"
She burst into tears.
My friend said, very quietly, "She lost the baby."
I was mortified. My friend thought she had told me... but she hadn't. I apologized profusely but it really didn't help.
Truly... one of my worst moments ever.
I had a jewelry party a couple of years ago, and the lady was setting up in my dining room. My son was chatting with her and soon I heard him say to her...."my mom said if she wasn't HAVING the party, she would NEVEr go to it. "
damn him.
Your comment thread is a load of fun today. I do shit like this all the time. But I block it from memory...
Oh jeez, I open my mouth and hear crickets all the time! I have a tendency of saying "Oh hell NO!" and laughing hysterically when people are dead serious.... Like the time my then boss asked me to hire his daughter. Or the time I was introduced to a business associate's wife-- who I thought was his daughter. Or the time a relative asked for an all expense paid vacation with my husband and me to visit family overseas. Or the time a certain "ex" asked to borrow money. Oh, yeah, I'm a million laughs with my "Oh hell NO!" comment.
I'll get back to you on this. It requires a great deal of thought on my part because there are SO MANY from which to choose. Where to begin?
Sorry too many to list! Give your self a break blame it on the heat!
When I was a teenager, I got so mad at my mother that I said,"Jesus, now I know why Dad left you!" I regret that to this day!
Love the comments. Of course I can never remember anything when I want to but trust me when I say, I got a million of 'em. You ARE NOT alone.
i remember watching indiana jones with some friends and a couple of people i had never met before, and you know the part where they escape in the blimp and the german guy waves his fist in an angry fashion? i just announced without thinking, ooh i love a good angry fist....i have yet to live it down...mortified doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think those are the moments that make up my life. I can't seem to keep my foot out of my mouth these days.
MMMM...recently telling a in laws pregnant sister while all our girl babies/toddlers were running around that having another boy would help tip the scales toward the male side. Not realizing she had really really hoped for a girl.
Stupid. Who goes and hurts a pregnant woman's feelings? Me. The stupid one with the large unpedicured foot in her mouth.
Sigh.
How about suggesting a top for "after the baby, too!" to a woman NOT pregnant? Yup. Did it.
I have had my fair share of foot in mouth episodes. As a teenager I once bad mouthed a former teacher while with a group of friends. Everyone was being quiet and they didn't join it. It was was at that point I realized one of the kids had the same last name as the teacher I had ripped on. Yes... it was his Dad.
I told a female coworker that she "actually look[ed] nice today." I immediately tried backtracking and saying I didn't mean it like that, but the damage was done.
Um, how old is this post??? LOL!
Letting on to Husband that I'd booked him a secret vasectomy...
Three weeks ago I was on the phone @ work calling a customer. An employee decided to sneak up behind me and rub his hands in my hair - still on the phone with the customer I said "mutha fucker"...the customer said "click".
I was IM'ing with a friend the other day, talking about bios for our section website. I started talking about one of the guys in our section, who is short (and sometimes sensitive about it), and I was making a joke about it and she replied "hahahahaha. he's sitting right next to me." And then 5 seconds later, he IM's me repeating what I told my other friend. Luckily, I pulled my foot out of my mouth and found a way to make him laugh about it.
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